THAT NEVER TAKES THE CHANCE ~ bette middler
Staying in denial, because delusions seem better than reality, destroys the life you are actually living.
Ever have that moment of clarity - like how the fuck did I get HERE - how did I become .... well something that you never dreamed of becoming, someone you swore you'd never be, someone you detest and judge.
When did I become so depressed, angry and bitter?
Ya, reality. Hate to admit it - right? so, stick with pretending you're happy and fulfilled. Oddly enough, it's the pretending that feeds your angst. It's the fantasy, the delusions, escaping & hiding that FEEDS exactly what you're trying to avoid.
It's like watering poison ivy. Self sabotage.
Humility, on the other hand, is the lesson. Remember that person you judged to be such a Debbie downer - or the addict you were afraid to help because they'll suck the life out of you, or the homeless, who just needed a smile to remind them that life is worth living. Remember when you said things like. 'Ugh, that SUCKS', or 'they made their bed, they can lay in it'. Comes back around in a way, that when you're not present, can pull the rug from under you.
Humility, comes when you can stop pretending and realize, you're simply looking in a mirror. Humility, means that you can stay teachable, that YOU DON'T KNOW what you think you know.
When you are unwilling to come into reality - unwilling to meet who you've actually become in this very moment, lessons get louder - you might even say humiliating.
So hard to admit that you've unconsciously become exactly what you despise. And yet, that's the key isn't it? 1st, you have to become aware of your own shit.
Soooo our brilliant and friendly Universe, keeps giving us opportunities (that seem like challenges) to snap us out of pretending, or denial (which BTW, is basically 1 of the 5 stages of grief). OR (because we have free will), screw us deeper into the grief.
Some shit that happens are things like.......
a virus ~ an illness ~ a disease
an accident or a broken bone
or how about
depression ~ anxiety ~ addictions ~
lets not forget about
poverty ~ debt
and our clearest, yet most overlooked.
R E L A T I O N S H I P S
like co-dependency, abuse & betrayal just to name a few.
All of these have a gift, a buried treasure and only when you're super present, can you make a sustainable impact on your 'present' reality.
It is 'The dream, afraid of waking, that never takes a chance."
Take a chance today, get grounded & be dead honest with yourself. As no person, condition or experience can give you what you are seeking. Ask yourself - what part of your dream is now a nightmare?
Then. What are you going to do about it?
Have you ever been force fed bullshit?
Meaning, you know someone is lying to your face. Looking you straight in the eye and spewing out another excuse for their 'poor' behavior. With a challenging energy daring you to call them out, as you are also acutely aware that if you do, their wrath will unleash a punishment aimed directly at an already sore wound, the grief, in your heart. They know you'll swallow your words and BECOME a sore loser.
And wow - you will end up with some part of your physical body, sore or in pain. Your body's wisdom will speak your truth for you in the form of a sore throat, or way worse. You may end up bitter, with a disease like diabetes T2 - and ya, that would make anyone a sore loser!
Sore loser! Does that sound harsh? Truth can feel harsh - but when it's spoken out of LOVE, meaning ~ accepting that you have grief, accepting that you are afraid to lose someone or something else - you begin to realize that, that fear is what continues to attract experiences so that you can reclaim your voice. Imagine you can rewrite the story, When you become aware that it's not your fault someone is bringing you another opportunity to rise with compassion and acceptance - it becomes a little easier to speak up and out.
What you don't speak -(from your 5th chakra) lands in your belly (3rd chakra). & when you hand over the power of truth - it turns into a weapon of revenge. So, the one spewing out lies in the 1st place now gets to speak YOUR truth. AND>>>>>>>
~Truth spoken, without forgiveness is simply revenge~
Keeping your mouth shut or worse - SUGAR coating your words, sounding sickening sweet as you pretend to believe that bullshit, just makes you swallow a bitter pill.
But, when you feel like you'd do anything, pay any price, even allow yourself to be abused (yes, let's be honest here and call it what it is) - you go into fight or flight. You're go into survival mode & your energy gets pulled into your limbs and slows down the process of digestion - basically so you can get away as quick as possible. BUT, keeping your body in that rhythm is what eventually causes so much dis-ease.
Shame settles in.
because your Soul contract demands honesty, authenticity & integrity ~ and in that moment, you know, the one where you swallowed the bullshit, you just lost another opportunity to regain a thread of your personal power, your courage, your truth.....
Shame ..........because you believe you're a coward. And well, ya, truth can hurt. But, the question then becomes, what are you going to do about it.
The weight of shame, sits in your gallbladder (b/c you didn't have the GAL -or courage) to speak from a place of compassion, understanding the true dynamic exchanged.
This begins to 'block', or stop your ability to digest - and therefore, release the information your pancreas needs so you can digest or receive 'sweetness' into you life.
So next time, you feel like you're in a bitter banter - ask yourself - Where do you want the truth to come from?
Your mouth: with compassion?
Their mouth: with revenge?
Your body: with disease?
Truth ........always come out.
The choice is yours!
Several years ago, I witnessed and thought I understood the root cause of Diabetes. T2. I was able to share with people who were suffering, that they were having trouble receiving the sweetness of life.
Well, energy goes through you 1st, and if this was something I was teaching, the Universe was going to provide real life experience for me to understand this dis-ease more in depth. And so, I lost something I never actually had ~ the sweetness of life.
It's either one day, or day one - I choose day won.
There is no person or condition that can provide you with the sweetness of life. You know, the reason you get up everyday, excited, that this is your life!
When we believe that a child or children, a partner or a friend, family or even a foe, is the reason to get out of bed - answer me this, what happens when they're gone? Then what? I'll tell you what, bitterness settles in, with energies like resentments and jealousy - revenge, judgments, sadness, depression, anxiety and addictions. Anything to run from losing what you believed made you important, anything to run from the grief of losing what you thought was the sweetness of life.
We also seem to think money brings us that spark of life - and yet, that's something else that can be lost in the blink of an eye.
What about your health? Oh! dare I also mention mental health? is this something you take for granted - or placate with medications, ignore and push through. Sometimes we don't even realize how fragile our health can be. We sure do get a slap in the face once in awhile to remind us tho..
So, then how do we actually know what it is so that we can not only receive it, but cultivate it?
There's a pull.
Like a magnet drawing you in.
Most of don't even realize, why we find ourself looking at images or bending an ear to listen to someone ELSE talk about it. There are little signs, and bread crumb trails to follow, once you slow down enough - once you stop running - once you stop doubting.
I've sensed this before, but, fear and doubt continually whisper lies. So admitting that I needed to trust, trust in something that is invisible, mysterious and most of the time feels elusive, stirred up fears and insecurities that I never even knew I had. They say everything you desire is on the other side of fear - I'm just starting to explore this - eeeeeeek! haha
And so, the pressure I put upon myself, trying to contain my fears, trying to understand and figure out every little problem out on my own -I ended up squishing my sweetness right into bitterness. With that, my blood sugar began to 'loose it's shit', and I could no longer see where I was going, OR the reason to go at all. Talk about fear!
And here is where I get to choose - bitterness and blame - feeling like the Universe is against me, and forcefully trying to prove my worth (which is the root cause of diabetes T2) OR, remember that this is not who I am - it was just a defense position a used too long trying to survive from PTSD. PTSD from loosing so much at one time - for believing way too long that It was my fault.
Grief turns to rage - and the fire from rage burns up the sweetness, and turns it bitter.
we stop running, which is really, what feeds the fire.
Now that I stopped running, I can do something about it & begin to process the original loss (or many losses).
It's hard work to mentally and emotionally process grief., but once it affect your physicality, it becomes even harder - choose your hard.
We use the term, grief, so easily and yet the weight this one word carries - is enough to crush any sweetness you thought you ever had.
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