"Everything I've been searching for, out there, in the Black Velvet Void, can only be experienced, here - in this body- whether I like it or not" ~Lil
The Eye of Horus
Covid took my mother 1 year ago today. On Beltane, a Celtic tradition honoring the union between the God and Goddess. Interestingly enough, my mother married an Irishman, who passed 11 years prior, and 4 calendar days before my mom. There really is no time or space, from my perspective, every year now forward, I have less than a week’s timeframe to honor their transition.
Honoring them separately & together, all at the same time, forever more.
My mother was the bread winner & the protector, along with so many other jobs that weren’t meant for her to handle by herself, yet she did the best she could with what she had. My father held the emotional weight, unable to digest who he was supposed to be, feeling completely emasculated. I never saw their marriage this way before, witnessing the role reversal of the masculine and feminine. But, as I sit with their life intertwined with mine - I am in awe. What a gift they have given to me. What strong soul’s to leave their life, their legacy as a reminder. Look at what happens when we are out of balance, look at how we were separated through fear, disease, addiction and bitterness.
We are so much better together when we know who we are, what our own journey involves and how to support, rather than enable, our partners.
Today, I witnessed my father reunite with my mother after being separated for decades. They celebrated today, on this Beltane their reunion with joy, as their potential together is so much bigger than I could have ever realized while they were still in their human form. Their souls raised by the amount of love they have been shown.
I realize now, the challenges they faced were karmic debt they choose to pay off in this life time, by choosing such difficult paths.
I celebrate Beltane, My mother's passing and my parents potential with a cleansing fire inside, surrendering to the fact, that there are things happening that are far beyond my mental capacity, bigger than I can ever imagine & ways that are so much Higher and Wiser than my own. Devoting these words & this message to the Great Mother, Father and their rejected Son.
~So be it ~